She called asking for a pregnancy test and ultrasound. She said that she didn’t know what to do with her pregnancy, yet she needed to get some answers. During her appointment, she shared that she already has a small child at home with a different partner. She shared being a single mom, along with struggles in her current relationship, is making it harder for her to decide what to do. Her scan revealed she was early in her pregnancy and that she would need another scan the following week. When she was leaving, she mentioned leaning towards parenting but also wishing for a miscarriage.
The day before her second scan, she texted our nurse manager, saying she “can’t do this, she can’t parent.” She said she needed help and didn’t know where to turn and as she and her partner had changed their minds and now want an abortion. She and the Nurse talked on the phone for some time. Informed of the fact that we don‘t provide abortion services, nor give referrals for them, she still agreed to come in the next day for her scan. Her boyfriend came with her. Upon seeing a healthy baby on the screen during her scan, she began to cry. She had been holding on to the hope that she would miscarry and avoid facing the thing she dreaded most…an abortion. Her boyfriend was offering support and saying he was willing to parent…she just wasn‘t ready. They decided to stay after the scan and talk with the Nurse about how they were feeling scared, conflicted, confused. She gave them all the educational materials they would need to make an informed decision and encouraged them to call or come back the next day to talk through the options.
The following morning the patient called wanting to come in and talk, but that she didn‘t want her boyfriend to come. She said she needed space to grieve because she had made up her mind on her decision, an abortion. The Nurse asked if she would be willing to meet with our Director of Reproductive Grief Care before she follows through on her abortion plan. She agreed.
We recognize life is hard. It‘s messy, and it is common to make decisions out of fear that we wouldn‘t usually make if we had our calm wits about us. That is true for every human being. Sierra Pregnancy + Health offers a chance to slow down the impulse to be reactionary. We provide a calm, safe, judgment-free place where men and women can find a listening ear, love, education, encouragement, and a ministry of truth with the grace of God.
This patient is still working with our reproductive grief care program in the midst of making a potentially agonizing decision. We don‘t know what she will ultimately choose, but we do know that we will be here for her no matter what. And more importantly…she knows we will be here for her no matter what. Would you join us in praying for her and her pregnancy?
Written by Sierra Pregnancy + Health’s Client Services Manager, Kristin Lowther